Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Life Change

Although this trip was only a week long it was truly a life changing experience for me. Prior to this trip I was not who I wanted to be, nor was I happy with who I was. I did not believe that I was a key member in the group and I felt like I should not have been chosen. However through this trip I proved my worth to the group always giving 110% of my effort while on the work sites and usually doing the heavy lifting and the dirty work that not many other people wanted to do. I also think that I inspired others to also give it their all at the worksites, also being able to help out others and show them how to do certain things with power tools or just the work in general. Through the whole NOLA experience I have truly become who I have strived and wanted to be. I know that this was only my first year and also my last, but this truly was a life changing experience.
Before getting chosen for the group I was just one of those random faces in the hallway. When walking from class to class I would often just put my head down trying not to make eye contact with anyone as I was ashamed of who I was. I tried to impress others by the way I dressed and the way I acted and most importantly the car that I bought. I have never really been liked by a lot of people so I thought having a nice car would make people like me, but kept enough it actually did the opposite. The people I tried to impress to gain their friendship actually disowned me and disregarded me. I worked my hardest for almost 3 years to save up enough money to buy it myself. I though that this was my greatest accomplishment, however looking back on the trip today on the flight to Houston, I realized that this is not the case.
My greatest accomplishment is that of finding who I really am and now accepting and being happy with who I am and have become. Although I am still not confident and only talked at reflections once because I was very anxious and nervous, I decided to blog about my feelings instead. Even though I did not publicly make known my feelings and emotions till 2 nights ago with a small group of people I can now call really good friends, I still got so much out of this whole experience, more than money can buy and the money that the trip required.
Down here in New Orleans I felt alive, and instead of living in the future and ignoring what is right in front of me, I started to live in the moment and have so much fun. This is the happiest and most satisfying time in my life right now, bring able to be who I want to be and also share all of the great memories with 42 other students and the 6 chaperones that came along the trip as well. I could not imagine going on this trip with anyone but the group that came down here, I just want to thank every single one of you because you have all shaped me and helped me gain the confidence to be who I want to be and no longer do I have to put on a "hard outer shell". This trip has given me the confidence to live in the moment and not in the future, because frankly before this experience I was not enjoying the life that I was living.
I used to make the days go by before high school by playing video games most of the day because I did not have a lot of friends. This was my way of interacting with people who actually "liked" me even though they had never met me before nor did they know who I was, where I was from or even what I looked like. Then once high school hit I started to work more, going to school and then to work and getting home around 10 most week nights. I would then eat dinner and do some homework and then go to bed. I was not a very social kid so this is how my life was spent. On this trip I gained the confidence to be able to talk to anyone about anything, even my feelings which I do not usually share or let be known to others.
Lastly I just want to say thank you to everyone who was there when I needed them 2 nights ago after reflection. I can honestly say that you all mean so much to me now after all that was said. I just hope that after today, once this trip is completely over, that we can stay in touch and continue the friendship(s) that were only found midway through this 8 day trip. I just wish we got to be better friends before the trip in the 10 month span prior.
"Be the change you seek in the world" is now a saying that is embedded in my mind and will be for the rest of my life. I can not wait until the day where I am a licensed doctor and will be able to help others in their time(s) of need everyday for the rest of my life. I am really grateful and humbled to be able to be a part of an organization that is so great and can make the seemly impossible possible through hard work and dedication.
~Mike Niemi

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